Valentine’s Day Disaster Stories

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Valentine’s Day Disaster Stories

It’s pretty safe to say that Valentine’s Day can be pretty worrying for couples, especially new relationships. It’s the ideal time to spoil your partner, but if you get it wrong then it’s also a perfect opportunity to ruin your relationship. If one of you forgets Valentine’s Day and the other remembers it, then it can take a LOT of recovering and grovelling on behalf of the forgetter to make it up to the forgetee, and in severe cases it can lead to the end of something that might have been very special. For the record, it’s on February 14th, which is a Sunday this year.

To make sure you don’t mess up a perfect date this Valentine’s Day, we’ve compiled some of the more amusing Valentine’s Day nightmares and disasters for you to read through and learn from. These stories were collected in a Valentine’s Day survey and are genuine, user-submitted stories.

You Must Be Nuts

My ex and I had been together for about three months when Valentine’s Day rolled around. He was a surprisingly romantic man and wanted to make a fuss of me, and I was all in favour of that. He secretly booked a table for two at a small, classy Indian restaurant in a trendy part of town (I’m a huge fan of Indian food). He picked me up from work clad in a suit and had picked out an outfit for me, which was really touching, and he fussed over me for the whole evening. We went to the restaurant and had a lovely, romantic evening. Eventually he went to the bar to pay the bill, and when he returned he kissed me long and lingering on the lips, in front of everyone, making me blush and giggle. But then things went wrong. While he’d been waiting for the bill he’d been eating those nuts they leave out in Indian restaurants, and I have a serious nut allergy. Quickly I couldn’t breathe, went into anaphylactic shock and left the restaurant on a stretcher. He knew I had an allergy and he just didn’t think. He was so consumed with guilt that the relationship couldn’t continue as it had before, and we split up soon afterwards.

Kath, Southampton

Out Of The Ring

My partner proposed to me in the grounds of a cathedral on Valentine’s Day. Sounds thoughtful, but it wasn’t. We were sitting on a bench as dusk fell, just talking and laughing, and I could see he was a quite nervous. After kissing, he shifted off the bench and went down on his knee. He produced a ring box from the inside pocket of his coat, opened it up and asked me to be his wife. I stared confused at the empty box he was holding, and then at him, causing him to look into the box and then swear very, very loudly when he realised that he brought the box but left the ring at home. We’re married now though, and he has never heard the end of it.

S, Lancs

All Choked Up

Just wanted to share this with you. I proposed to my husband by making him his favourite meal, toad-in-the-hole, on Valentine’s Day. He’s a gentleman of simple pleasures, and it’s this sort of thing that he likes. So just before I put the plate in front of him I put the ring I had bought him under one of the sausages for him to find. And he did find it. In his mouth, along with a large section of his tooth that broke when he bit it. I’ve never felt so stupid in my whole life. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day any more.

Jayne, Belfast

Bare-Faced Cheek

Ok, this is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me but I want you to know anyway. In the run up to last Valentine’s Day my husband had been acting all coy, like he had forgotten about it. He hadn’t mentioned it, but I knew he was aware of it because we’d been married a few years and hadn’t forgotten one yet. Valentine’s Day is also my mother’s birthday and I thought it might have been nice to have a joint party, sort of relaxed and informal. So I picked my parents up on the way home from work and I text my husband to tell him that I’d be home soon. I had made no mention of my parents being with me. They walked to the door of my flat while I got my husband’s gift out from the boot of my car. My dad knocked on the door and my boyfriend’s voice shouted from inside ‘it’s open’. My dad opened the door and walked in followed by my mum, followed by me. The scene we were confronted with will never be forgotten. All the lights were off and the entire room was lit by candles, scented ones. And there at the foot of my stairs directly in front of the three of/all of us was my husband, standing completely naked apart from the blindfold, and with his hands cuffed behind his back.

At least he was saved from seeing the terror on my parents’ face; I wasn’t and I’ve never been so mortified. The thing is, my parents might have been able to escape without too much embarrassment because he couldn’t see they were there. All they had to do was shut the hell up and leave quietly. But no, my mum after the initial surprise simply said, ‘oh err… oh… umm… ha… oh… err… hi Steve!’ Steve fell over in the ensuing panic, his naked body upside down on the carpet. We laugh about it now, but for a long time he didn’t find it very amusing.

Rach, Liverpool

And there we have it. We hope these Valentine’s Day horror stories go some way to helping you have a better Valentine’s Day this year. If you only take away one thing from this, it’s this: listen to your partner and see what they really want. Valentine’s Day can be great fun. With a little common sense you can achieve a new level of intimacy and broaden the horizons of your relationship. Just try not to mess it up.

I am a writer testing adult sex toys from a discreet online store.

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