5 Sex Drive Killers

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5 Sex Drive Killers

Let me get right to the point. “What’s stress got to do with sex”? Everything!! What? “Everything”! Absolutely!!! Stress is pretty high up there as on one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex! So I thought it would be important to identify some stressors in our lives that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, our sex drive.

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress; but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them.

So enough jabbering here and let’s get on with identifying 5 common stressors that decrease or eliminate one’s sex drive. (And remember, some of these sex drive killers have nothing to do with how you feel about your partner – what a sense of relief!).

Stressor #1: Prescription Medication – Many prescription drugs have the side effect of decreasing one’s sex drive,especially the commonly prescribed anti-depressant medication Prozac. Other classifications of drugs that have loss of libido as a side-effect include: chemotherapy, antihistamines, blood pressure medication (Lipitor) some oral contraceptives and ant-HIV medications.

Solution: Talk to your prescribing physician and ask them if they can change the medication you are on for one that offers the same benefits – minus the loss of libido side effect.

Stressor #2: Parenting – the kids are exhausting you! If you have a new baby in the home, that sweet little bundle of joy requires what feels like 24/7 attention. Or maybe you have toddlers running around who possessed an inordinate amount of energy – or school-aged children that need to be chauffeured around – everyone – causing you to run out of steam by the end of the day!

Solution: Get a babysitter or family member and get out of the house for a day, an overnight and/or long weekend. Do it – even though you might be feeling too exhausted to arrange this – consider it to be like exercise. You don’t usually feel like doing it, but once you do, you are so glad you did.

Stressor #3: Poor Body Image – Most of us don’t look like we did when we were 21 years old anymore– but we lament this fact and let it get in the way of how we feel about not only our bodies but our selves as well. In other words, poor body image promotes poor self-esteem. Poor self-esteem makes us feel unlovable – and feeling unlovable lowers our sex drive.

Solution: Your partner fell in love with you – your heart and soul. A few pounds gained throughout the years do not diminish the value of who you are in the heart of your lover. (Chances are they don’t look 21 anymore either). If you have gained a few pounds over the years, (and who hasn’t?) you might consider adding exercise to your daily routine – even if it takes the form of simply walking the stairs in your office instead of riding the elevator. Do whatever you need to do so you can begin to feel better about your body image. And whatever you do – please remember – the images of the models on the cover of all those magazines are air-brushed and touched up until the cows come home. Please don’t think “real” women look like that. I sure don’t know any that do!!

Stressor #4: Alcohol – Yes, alcohol has a reputation for reducing one’s inhibitions when it comes to sex, but alcohol is also a common cause for numbing your sex drive. (FYI – your partner might not be in the mood for getting it on with someone who is intoxicated).

Solution: Keep the alcohol to what is considered to be a reasonable amount for you.A slobbering drunk isn’t sexy any where –including the bedroom. Hey, I’m not saying you can’t have a drink or two – just don’t imbibe to the extreme.

Stressor # 5: Lack of sleep - whether this results from worry, insomnia, or sleep apnea, sleep deprivation creates body fatigue. And fatigue zaps the energy you need for sex – interfering with your sex drive.

Solution: Make it your priority to get enough sleep. If you have a medical condition that you think might be interfering with your sleep, see a physician. If you are sleep deprived because you love to watch late night TV- tivo your shows and watch them another time.

So as you can see,a low sex drive might be the result of stressors outside your romantic relationship. Please make any changes that are necessary in your life style to insure you are doing everything within your means to increase your sex drive so you can …

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann



A sought-after public speaker, author and confidant to other professionals in the field of relationship coaching and expertise, Dr. Patty Ann is a world renowned relationship expert coach and a licensed psychotherapist who has helped hundreds of people learn how to increase romance and happiness in their relationships. She has a doctorate in Psychology, a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work, a Master’s Degree in Nursing, and is a Registered Nurse. She is also a board-certified psychotherapist, having graduated from a prestigious three-year post-graduate psychotherapy training program. Dr.PattyAnn writes a weekly relationship advice ezine called “Two Hearts Beating As One” and a relationship advice blog. Dr. Patty Ann has been happily married for 25 years while raising four children together with her husband.

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